


Through the years

by Pram_The_Oracle



Series: JohnRose Grimdorks Week 2019 [3]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Childhood Friends, College, F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, Humanstuck, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-13 19:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19257649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pram_The_Oracle/pseuds/Pram_The_Oracle
Summary: TUE - 18: PALE/ASHEN/PITCH/FLUSH4 chapter fic, all 4 chapters have been uploaded.In a world where SBURB and SGRUB never happened, a boy and a girl have four different relationships.





	1. Pale Summer of Moirallegiance

For the umpteenth time, you wipe the sweat from your brow. The sun is beating down on you, making you second guess your decision to go biking. Well, you’ve already gone all the way to your friend’s house, so you might as well go through with it.

Speaking of your friend, you shake off your sweat and glance up again, shielding your eyes from the hideous light of the daystar, as your friend would say. Rose’s window stays shut, as you idly stand on her yard next to your bike. Frowning, you kneel and search the yard for another stone to throw when the sound of a window opening made you look.

“Forgive me for being late in responding to your summons John, I had my headphones on.”

“Oh.” You briefly pondered what she said. “So why did you open it just now?”

Rose frowned slightly before answering. “My mother came into my room and informed me. Without knocking I might add.”

“How scandalous!” You say, as you remember that you think you caught Mrs. Lalonde looking at you when you threw the first stone only to disappear quickly when you turn to look.

“Indeed, who knows what sordid shenanigans she might have caught me doing.” She says, finishing off with a smirk.

“Some practical japery?”

“A buffoonish escapade?”

“Some moronic misandry?”

Rose stopped for a moment. “John I don’t think that word means what you think it means.” Drat, she caught you. You were hoping to impress her by using that word you heard on the TV. Rose continued “So anyway, what are you doing here John?”

“Oh well I thought that since today is such a nice day, why don’t we go out and go biking?” You answer, ignoring the fact that you’re drenched from your sweat.

“Indeed, the sun is shining, perfect weather to do some cycling.” You started to smile, which stopped when she continued. “But alas, it’s so much nicer here, with my air conditioner and fully stocked refrigerator.” You gulp, not realizing you were thirsty until just now. “Tell me John, wouldn’t you rather spend the day inside where it’s nice and cool and refreshments are freely available?”

That temptress! She knows exactly how to win you over. You mull it over, then you smile as you answer back. “But Rose, if we stay indoors all the time we won’t get the exercise we need as kids that are still growing up!”

“Are you calling me fat Egbert?” She shouts back, her face frowning.

“What? No! I just meant we should exercise so we grow up big and strong! Besides, we can have fun inside after our bike ride.” You finish your sales pitch, and Rose seems to be thinking it over.

“Oh very well John, you’ve convinced me. After all, I wouldn’t want to be a lazy slob when I’m a proper lady.”

“I mean, you’re kind of a slob right now.” Oops.

Rose stares daggers at you. “Don’t push it Egbert.” She then disappears inside, leaving you alone feeling like such a heel. You wonder if you should go home or bike alone, but then out comes Rose Lalonde on her bicycle. “Alright John, let's go for a ride. Wait, John, where’s your helmet?”

You immediately touch the top of your head. Uh oh, no wonder you’ve been feeling like you forgot something. “I, uh, forgot.”

Rose shakes her head. “Goodness John, had I not notice, you would have been in danger if we were in an accident. Safety first and all that, we wouldn’t want anything to happen to your funny face now would we?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll head back home right now and come back here lickety split!” You jump in your bike as you finish, and start pedaling, the wind on your face a welcome breather from the heat. You quickly notice that Rose is following you as well.

“Nonsense John,” she began, as she effortlessly catches up with you and keeps up, “I’ll accompany you on the way, and we can begin our ride immediately as soon as you’re ready. Now, what are our plans for today?”

“Wow, thanks Rose. So, I was thinking, a loop around the neighborhood, and maybe through the park, then we head to your house.”

Rose smirks. “How about we make it a race? Last one to finish the ride has to clean up the mess we’ll make in my house. ReadysetGO!” She immediately dashes forward, but before you’re left in the dust, you put the pedal to the medal and soon catch up to her.

“That’s cheating Rose!”

“Losers make excuses John.”

“You’re just lucky Jade isn’t here! She’d beat you even with your cheating!”

You both bicker all the way to your house, just two friends enjoying their break from school, with wind blowing through the both of you to fight off the heat of the sun.


	2. Pitch Winter of Kismesissitude

You breathe into your hands, bringing some warmth into them, and you rub them together for even more warmth. Shivering, you look to the left down the street. Still no sign of the bus. You let out a sigh in frustration. Dammit, you’re going to be late for class. 

You lean back on the chair of the bus stop, trying to enjoy the silence. At least the bus stop has a roof over it keeping the snow out. Growing increasingly bored, you take out your supplies from your bag, making sure there’s no nasty surprise waiting for you when you get the class, like forgetting writing instruments. You finish sorting your stuff and putting them in the bag, just in time for the bus to arrive. The bus slows to a crawl before gently stopping and opening its doors, and you gladly enter into its warm embrace.

Inside, you loosen up a few of your garments since it’s nice and toasty, and you make your way deeper into the bus. Today the bus seems full, and as you head further down you wonder if there aren’t any seats left. You reach the back of the bus, and sure enough, every seat is filled. Actually, it isn’t, but some thoughtless person put their personal belongings on one of the seats. 

You’re about to turn back and get a better standing position when a familiar voice comes from your left. “Wait hold on, let me clear my stuff first, then you can sit.” You turn to see someone hastily moving their assorted miscellaneous items from the seat to make room for you. You’re about to thank the mysterious person when he spoke up again. “There, now you can sit- Rose?”

You freeze. No wonder you recognized that voice. It’s the one and only John Egbert. Even though he grew up, he’s still got that same stupid look on his face when he’s confused. Not like you’re free from that sin. Uncertain of what to do, you just both stare dumbfounded at each other. You briefly considering going with your initial plan to stand, but well, what kind of lady spurns the efforts of a gentleman to make you comfortable. Even if his a big stupid dork.

You graciously sit down. “Thank you John.” You murmur. Satisfied that you’ve fulfilled your social responsibilities, you pointedly stare forwards ignoring the idiot to your side. For his part John seems to be doing the same, though he appears to be slightly uncomfortable with all his stuff on his lap and on the floor. Serves him right for bringing too much stuff. Then again, perhaps you’re being too harsh. He did make room for you.

“I didn’t know you took this bus John.” You began, as you attempt to converse to your ex best friend. “I thought your college was on a different route?”

“It is.” He said, then used on arm to wave at all the stuff he brought. “It’s just that Vriska forgot some stuff, so I’m bringing it to her.”

Ahh, yes, Vriska. You remember that she goes to your college as well. That explains the various knick knacks you caught a glimpse of, like that obviously designed for female short shorts. Unless of course, John’s taste in clothing changed. You look at his attire. No, if anything, he’s wearing a neater suit than you ever remember him wearing. In fact, it looks formal. You ignore the implications of John holding on to girls clothes and instead ask, “So what’s the occasion John?”

He looks at you as if wondering what you meant, then he let out an ‘ohh’ before answering. “Oh right, this thing. Well, funny story I had a job interview today, and then Vriska called me, and well, here I am.”

Huh. “Really now? Where did you apply?”

“Skaianet.”

“My word John, that’s rather remarkable. Isn’t Skaianet the leading company in information technology right now?” He smiles, proud of that fact. “But aren’t you a little young to be joining their IT department, let alone being prepared to do so? As I recall, and I am quoting your words here, ‘Rose I’ll never be a good programmer! I suck at it!’”

John scowled, before muttering, “Yeah well, obviously, I’m just applying for an unpaid internship position. And obviously I got better Rose, that’s what being grown up is all about!”

“Relax John I was just teasing you.” You smirk, and John just gave a small hmph. “So how did the interview go? Do you think they like you enough to hire you? I heard from Jade that their exams are a killer.” John doesn’t answer, and instead his eyes darted this way and that. 

“That bad huh?” You began. You were about to console the poor sap when you stopped. Something’s odd about this. You look at John’s business suit. You look at Vriska’s stuff that he’s holding on to for dear life, as if his entire survival depended on it. Then you really look at John. There’s shadows under his eyes, and his eyelids look like they’re about to close.

“John, you did go to the interview first before bringing Vriska’s stuff home, right?” He flinched, but he just turned and looked out the window. “John Egbert look at me when I’m talking to you!” You snap.

That did it, he turned to look at you. He’s still not looking at you in the eye as he answers, “No, I didn’t go to the job interview Rose. I was about to, but then Vriska called me, and she told me she needed all her clothes back.”

“You did tell her you have a job interview yes?”

“I did! Well, at least I told her last night, before we, um, nevermind. Then she left sometime in the middle of the night. I tried to tell her again this morning but she kept telling me she neeeeeeeeds her clothes right fucking now, so here I am.”

You frown. “What the hell, did she just wander around in the dead of night without any clothes?” You briefly imagine a naked Vriska stranded somewhere, desperately calling for her hero to come to her rescue. An amusing image.

“No, she’s uh, in the middle of class right now, and she just wants me to drop it off in her dorm room.”

You try to calm yourself. You fail. “Let me get this straight John, your girlfriend ignored your very important appointment and commanded you to bring unimportant items she’s not even going to use right now?”

“It’s what being in love is all about Rose.” He said with a sneer. “You’ll do anything for the one you love. You wouldn’t understand.” You grind your teeth. Fuck you John, me and Kanaya love each other very much. That’s what you wanted to say, but you managed to keep it in. Don’t fall for his taunts.

You fail again and you let out what you’ve been dying to tell him since a long time ago. “John, she’s no good for you.”

At first John looks at you, utterly dumbfounded. Then for the first time in your life, you see John’s truly angry face. You don’t care for it, and honestly, it scares you a bit. “What the HELL gives you the right to comment on my life Rose?” He yelled as he stood up, looking down at you.

You’ve never let fear make you back down though. “Why, I thought it was my due obligation as a childhood friend to inform you whenever you make a stupid mistake.”

“STUPID?”

Aright you’ve had enough of being yelled at sitting down and being looked down upon at the same time. You stand up, not really being height to height with John (curse his growth spurt), before continuing. “That’s right, bloody stupid. What you have isn’t a healthy relationship John. This isn’t boyfriend and girlfriend, this is master and servant, and you’re just enabling her. She needs someone who won’t put up with her bullshit, and she needs to understand that you have a life outside of her and to think of your needs too. If you won’t be that person, then you might as well break up because she sure as hell won’t be that person.”

He snarled. “Oh here we go again, Rose the all knowing descends from on high to spout words of wisdom to the ignorant masses.”

“If everyone listened to me everything would have been just fine.”

“HAH!” He pointed an accusing finger at you. “I know for a fact that’s a lie Rose!”

“Excuse me?”

“What about Terezi?”

You failed once again to maintain your composure, as you’re practically seething as you spat back “How the hell did you know about that? Have you been spying on me?”

“Pfft you of all people know girls talk!” Oh we’re going sexist are we? “Especially to their sisters!” Oh, that’s right, you forgot about Vriska and Terezi. “Yeah that’s right I know AAAAAAAALL about your big blowout in the lab with Terezi. Everybody on campus knows, hell, even I know by now that you and her had a huge argument over how to do the experiment in front of EVERYBODY! You don’t know everything Rose, other people can have their opinion on how to do things. And in this case, THEY’RE RIGHT!”

“Stop shouting John, you’re embarrassing me. Why do you always make such troubles for me?”

“What?” He looked surprised. “When did I- oh my GOD Rose, is this about what happened during show and tell? Get over it it’s been years.”

That set you off and you practically exploded. “I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU FUCKING HUMILIATED ME IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS!”

“FOR THE THIRTEENTH FUCKING TIME ROSE I’M SORRY!

“Umm, excuse me…” a third voice intruded.

“WHAT?”  
“WHAT?”

You both turn to see the eternal wimp Tavros looking particularly small as he tries to say something.

“I, um, it’s, my stop, and uh, if you could, uh, let me pass?”

You look out the window and true enough, you’ve reached your destination already. More embarrassing is the fact that everyone is staring at you. Your cheeks heat up, and a passing glance at John while you hastily pick up your bag tells you he is similarly ashamed of making a spectacle. You quickly make your way out of the bus, and proceed to make double time to your class. You hope this doesn’t add to the already irksome gossips surrounding you.

Speaking of irksome, the 4 eyed wonder followed you, easily keeping in time. You wonder if he’s about to argue again but you remember the dorm is close to the labs. You question the wisdom of putting a place of pushing the boundaries of science so close to dwellings, but who are you to question the almighty university administration?

As you near the branching path that separates your destination and his, you briefly contemplate leaving him in the dust… but no matter how much you loathe him, he’s still your friend. Technically. You stop in your tracks and regret your decision as the bitter cold starts seeping into your body. John soon catches up with you, and you two have a sort of stand off.

“So…” he began.

“Yeah. I’m going down this way, and I believe you’re headed towards the dorms that way?” You gesture to the path heading right. He nodded, but makes no move towards it. 

“Listen, I just… I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

it doesn’t take you long to realize he wasn’t talking about the bus. “It’s alright John, it’s in the past, I should learn to move on.” 

“No Rose, I betrayed your trust, and I deserve whatever punishment you wanted to give me.”

“I don’t want to punish you John.” It’s true actually. “I just… whatever possessed you to bring up my private literary work, ‘The Complacency of the Learned’ in show and tell? You know I showed you that in confidence.”

He looked down for a moment, as if he’s feeling particularly guilty (he probably is), before looking at you again. “I know, and it’s stupid of me. It’s just… it’s the best thing I’ve ever read Rose. Confusing, but I love it so much. I just thought I should share your gift with the world. You know, like in one if those movies where the outcast is actually hiding a kind heart or some sort of talent, and when a friend shows everyone else what they can do, they accept them!”

“Life rarely turns out like movies John.”

“Yeah, I know.” He said, with a far sadder expression than you would expect. He’s probably feeling like finding your whole religion is a lie, like there’s no Santa Claus. “I’m really, really sorry Rose. I really didn’t expect the entire class to laugh. Or that it ended up with you and me having to fight off the entire class when you attacked Eridan when he mocked you. Or that we got suspended for it.”

“Admittedly not how I envisioned my day would go.”

“Yeah.”

Silence falls. You decide to break the ice again. “Did you really like it John? I thought you showed it to make fun of me.”

“Of course not Rose!” He said immediately, his eyes shining with what you assume is determination to get his point across. “I thought it was the most brilliant thing I’ve ever read!”

“Thank you John.” You feel your cheeks warming up, and you ignore the implications and decide to enjoy the brief respite from the cold.

John looks towards the dorm, then turns towards you. “You know what Rose? You’re right.”

“I am?”

“Of course, you’re the smartest person I know. I’ll have a talk with Vriska. I’ll drop off her stuff then find a cab to go to Skaianet. With any luck, I’ll be there in time for the interview. Then I’ll find time to have a chat with her. I’ll be that person for her Rose, you’ll see.”

You smile underneath your scarf. “I hope everything goes well for you John.”

“Thanks Rose. Oh! I wanted to say, you should have a talk with Terezi.”

You sighs. “There’s nothing to talk about John. I think we’ve burned that bridge already, nothing but dust and not enough materials to rebuild it.” Your metaphor could use some work admittedly, but dammit it’s freezing here.

“Nah, according to what Vriska said, Terezi also wishes that you and her can be friends again. So will you talk to her? Please?” Dammit, he has that look on your face, the one you can never resist.

You sigh. “Fine, I will.”

“Oh and one more thing Rose.” Oh dear god will he ever shut up? Not like you’re one to talk. “You’re very smart, but you don’t know everything. Please, at least try to let other people have their say.”

You stayed silent for a moment. “I’ll take that under advisement John.” You say, surprised that you meant it.

“Good, that’s all I ask” he said, and started walking to the dorms. Then he stopped, and turned to you and flashed that old Egbert smile you always liked. “For what it’s worth Rose, that was a pretty kickass Shining Wizard you pulled off on Eridan.” With those final words, John Egbert trudged through the snow carefully carrying his precious cargo. You stay still, watching his figure slowly disappear from sight.

For what feels like the umpteenth time today, you let out a sigh. You hate it when he’s right. Still, while you do hate his guts, far be it from you to ignore sound advice. One of the begrudging aspects of your weird not really friends and not really enemies relationship is that you can both be completely honest with each other, and give each other advice. Which either of you can freely ignore. In this instance, you’ll take it to heart. You take out your phone, and call your ex-lab partner. “Terezi? It’s me Rose. No wait don’t hang up! Listen, I’m sorry for what I did…”

You continue your conversation as you trudge your way through the snow, as more falls gently through the air to pile even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don’t know what Shining Wizard is, it is a wrestling move where the the target is usually on his knees, and the attacker will use the position to launch a knee attack to their face.
> 
> Look it up.
> 
> And yes this will be important


	3. Ashen Autumn of Auspistice

You stretch and yawn, being careful not to accidentally disturb anything on the table. Well, here you are. In a family restaurant, alone in a booth. Waiting. You wish you were waiting for a date, but no, you’re here for a much more stupid reason.

You glance at the reason you’re here. At a table a short distance from you, sits your roommate Karkat Vantas. He’s currently talking with his sometimes girlfriend and sometimes ex Terezi Pyrope. He’s either breaking up with her for the nth time, or he’s begging her to take him back again. Honestly you’re not sure which. When Karkat basically forced you to come with him for emotional support, you weren’t paying attention thanks to Dave kicking your ass in the video game match you were on.

Seeing them talk amicably, you decide to look outside instead. People walk past with heavy coats, and you can see the fallen leaves blowing in the wind. Other than that, not a lot of exciting stuff to see out there. You glance back inside, looking at the other patrons. Nothing unusual. There’s a poor fellow that keeps glancing at his watch, probably stood up by his date. There’s a family enjoying a late lunch, the kids being extraordinarily well-behaved. There’s… what appears to be a young woman with a fake mustache reading a book. Huh, you don’t see that everyday. She keeps glancing up every now and then, so you decide to politely stop staring at her and enjoy some late afternoon snack. Besides, you’re one to talk, with you wearing an obvious disguise yourself. You feel your eyelids getting heavy, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get some shuteye while you’re here...

A commotion suddenly woke you up. “Huh? What?” You mumble, straining to find your glasses + fake nose mustache prop. Must have fallen off while you slept. You quickly find and put them on and you can see what the ruckus is all about. Oh crap, you stand up quickly, not caring that you tipped over your thankfully empty glass. You rush over to the source of all the noise, and sure enough, Karkat was making a scene, shouting things at the top of his lungs to a cackling Terezi. 

“YOU’RE TEARING ME APART TEREZI!” Something about what Karkat screamed rings a bell, but you disregard it as you pull Karkat away from the still cackling like mad Terezi. “Karkat, stop it! Don’t make a scene in front of everybody! You can talk this out!” You say.

To your surprise, somebody else is also pulling Terezi away. It’s the woman with the fake mustache. “Terezi, be reasonable. Listen to what he has to say, don’t just disregard everything.”

… wait, that voice. You can never forget that voice.

“Rose?”

The woman looked up staring at you in confusion. Then her eyes opened wide as if in realization. “John? What the heck are you wearing? No, forget that, what are you doing here?”

“I could say the same to you Rose.” You say, then a struggling Karkat in your arms brought you back to Earth. “Rose, I’ve got a booth that sits for four, should we move them there?”

“Well that depends entirely on these two acquiescing to our demands.” She says, still clamping a mouth over Terezi. “What do you say Terezi?” Terezi’s muffled laughter quieted down, and she gives a nod.

You turn to Karkat, whose eyes is screaming bloody murder at you for being carried like a baby and mouth being clamped. You shrug, and nodded at Rose. You make your way to your booth, and deposit a snarling Karkat in one chair before making way for Rose to usher in Terezi. Then you and Rose sit opposite to them.

As soon as you all sit down you realize how bad of an idea this was. In front of you, your easily (and is currently) irritated roommate. To his side, his current or ex-girlfriend who you honestly find kind of intimidating. Then opposite her, and more importantly, right next to you is Rose. It’s been awhile since you last saw her, and during that time she’s become quite a woman. Fake Mustache not included. But you’re not sure what your relationship with her is at the moment. Ex-best friends? Acquaintance you hate? Not that you could truly hate her, not really.

Before you can think anymore about the current situation, Rose broke the silence. “Alright you two, what happened? What made Karkat shout?”

“Do you even have to ask? He explodes over the littlest things.” Terezi answered.

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” He shouted, proving her correct. Blushing, he sat back down. “Besides, it was her fault, anyway.” He muttered.

“Excuse me?” Terezi said, turning towards Karkat.

“You know damn well it is! I came here to maybe see if you were interested in getting back together, but you just laughed in my face!”

You decide to intervene at this point. “Karkat, calm down, we can talk this out, okay?” Karkat looks at you before grumbling to himself, looking out the window. You glance at Rose, who motions for you to continue. “Alright you guys, this is silly. You guys have been getting together and breaking up for a really long time now, it’s time to settle this once and for all.”

“Agreed. Let’s start with the instigator of this incident, Terezi, do you want to get back together with Karkat or not?” Rose continued, while a shocked Terezi just gaped for a few seconds before answering.

“First of all, I object to being implicated as the perpetrator to this kerfuffle.”

“Objection overruled.” “Objection overruled.” You and Rose say together.

“Pfft, fine. Second, of course I do.” Terezi said. Surprisingly enough, her tone seemed to be sincere. Karkat looked at Terezi after hearing that.

“But why did you laugh in my face?” He asked.

“Indeed, a very good question. Terezi, if you like Karkat, you shouldn’t laugh at him, so why did you?” Rose added.

“I can’t help it, he’s so cute when he’s flustered.” Terezi answered. Karkat was stammered, at a loss for words.

“Heh yeah, I know what you mean.” You say. Instantly, all 3 turned to look at you, wide eyed. It took you a moment before you realize what they thought. “Umm, no, not that way, it’s just uh, what’s the word… Rose, how would Dave put it?”

Rose stared at you a few moments more before realizing what you meant. “Watching Karkat is a lot more fun than going to a Rodeo with Obama rapping with Snoop Doggy Dog as a show opener.”

“Hee hee hee, see?”

“HA HA HA YES LAUGH AT POOR KARKAT WHILE HE RANTS AT THE INJUSTICE OF THE WORLD.” Karkat yelled, not caring that all the other patrons were staring.

“Easy Karkat.” You calm him down, then turn to Terezi. “Terezi, you can see that Karkat feels very strongly about getting back together with you, and you cackling like that hurt his feelings.”

“Don’t put words into my mouth Egbert!”

“So you don’t feel insecure when she laughs at you?” Rose asked.

“Well, I didn’t say that…” He quieted down.

“Does it really bother you that much Karkat?” Terezi asked. You can see her face frowning slightly, as if she’s worried.

“Well how would you feel if I laughed at you when I’m pouring my heart out?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry Karkat.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry too. For blowing up at you in public I mean.”

You share a glance with Rose, and you two smile. Things are going very well between them. Now all that’s left is the finishing touch. You start off your long speech. “Alright you guys, you can’t let a little fight come between true love-“

“ALRIGHT!” Karkat suddenly yelled, almost making you jump from your seat. “Thanks for the pep talk, Egbert and Lalonde, but now me and Terezi can take it over from here. See ya!”

Abruptly, the two move out of the booth chair and make their way towards the Cashier. Damn, and you’ve got a whole speech ready. Admittedly stolen from a movie, but it would have been great.

“Wow. That was uh… easy.”

“A little too easy.” Rose said, frowning and looking at their figures as they exit the restaurant after paying. After the two left, you’re left alone with Rose. You resist the urge to tap your fingers on the table and whistle to fill the silence. Christ this is awkward. As you think of what to say, Rose makes the first move and gets up.

Oh. Yeah. I guess this is to be expected. It’s not like you can just pick up where you left of just like that. You were about to follow suit and leave when you saw Rose sitting down again… this time with her stuff put on the table and her sitting opposite you. “Oh, were you just leaving?” She asked, her hand paused in mid air as she was about to put away her book into her bag.

“Oh well, it’s just, I thought you were leaving?” You ask.

“On the contrary John, I thought that since fate has deemed that we should meet again after all this time, I thought this would be a good opportunity to have a conversation. But if you’d rather I leave…” she began.

“No no! Stay! Stay. Please.” You cut her off, waving your arms in a manner you hope is inviting. It seems to work, since she stays seated instead of leaving. “So, how have you been Rose?”

Before she answered, she called a waiter, and you both place your order. “I could be better, but overall I’m fine. How about you? Are you doing fine John?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Oh right, I think you’ll be glad to hear I’m working at Skaianet now.”

“Really?” She says, her eyes going wide in surprise, before closing her eyes and nodding. “I knew you had it in you John. Congratulations.”

“Yeah well, I’m thinking of quitting.” You admitted.

“Oh? I thought coding was your passion?”

“Yeah I thought that too, but I don’t know, I’m not having as much fun as I thought I would.” Despite the cushy desk job you have, you really don’t feel like you’re doing what you feel you really want to do.

“Well, if you think it’s for the best, resigning from a job you hate is probably the best course of action to take. What does Vriska think about your decision?”

You look away. “Yeah… well, I haven’t told her yet. Vriska and I aren’t an item anymore.”

“Oh I’m sorry John. Was it my fault for making you talk to her?” She says, looking worried.

“No no no, if anything, talking with her actually made things better. For awhile anyway. But I don’t know… you ever feel like, you fell out of love? Like you still have fun with the person, but you’re not sure she’s the one?”

You thought you catch her mumbling “more than you know”, but it was too quiet to make sure.

“Anyway we’re still friends, and- don’t roll your eyes at me Rose, I’m serious! A man and a woman can still be friends even if they’re exes!”

She smirks. “I’m sure they can John.”

“What about you? How’s your professional and romantic life?”

“Kanaya and I are doing… fine.” Unless you're mistaken, that tone is anything but fine. Before you can ask her, she continues “In a strange twist of event, I’m also leaving my profession in order to kickstart my writing career.”

Now that came as a surprise. “Huh, you’re really quitting being a therapist?”

“Much like you John, I’ve discovered that my penchant to analyze my friends’ psychological problems did not translate to me enjoying listening to strangers bitch about their problems for mad stacks of cash.”

“Not even for all the money in the world?” You ask, astonished at what you’re hearing.

“Well, not at how much I’m being paid. Which is admittedly quite high, but no, I’ve had enough. I prefer to have people listen to what I have to say really, thus my career change into an author.”

“Wow. That’s unexpected.”

“Actually John, I have you to thank for planting the seeds for this departure from the field of psychiatry.”

“I am? Wait, when did I tell you to leave your job?” You wreck your brain. You definitely don’t remember telling her something to that effect.

“Do you remember the incident?” Rose asked, stirring a straw in a glass absentmindedly. You grimace, and nod. “For what it’s worth John, I very much overreacted, and I’m sorry. But what you said stuck with me.”

“About what you did to Eridan?”

She snorted. You live making her laugh. “That too, but rather about how you said it was the most brilliant thing you’ve ever read. That got me thinking, and, well, I’ve been writing ever since.”

“Oh wow. Glad what I said turned out for the better with you.”

“I also have you to thank for Terezi. Surprisingly, our friendship turned out to be an enduring one. She even listened to my drunken rambling. I do find it odd that she seems interested whenever I bring you up though.”

“Huh. That’s a weird coincidence. Karkat is also very interested whenever I talk about you.”

“Oh? Been talking about me have we?”

“Yeah well so have you.” You counter.

“Touche.” Your conversation briefly stopped while the waiter brought you your new drinks. A sip from her and a gulp from you later, she continues. “So do you think those two will work out.”

“Well it’s a toss up really. I give them like… a 50-50 chance.”

“My, decided like the flip of a coin?”

“I mean, Karkat and Terezi are both good people, but their relationship seems to bring out both their good and bad sides.”

“I agree. I would tell her to break it off for real, but if those two are willing to make it work, I’d say they have a great future ahead of them.”

“Here’s hoping. I do find it strange that he asked me to be here for emotional support. Is that why you’re here in disguise?” You ask, and Rose nodded. Then suddenly, something that has been nagging at you suddenly becomes clear. “Ohh, so that’s where that’s from!”

“Sorry, you lost me. What are you talking about John?”

“I just realized why Karkat’s rant sounded so familiar, it’s exactly like the rant from the male lead of one of his favorite movies. Weird, that.”

Rose stared at you before slowly lowering her face to her palms. You think you can hear her murmur “Oh goddammit.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“We’ve been played John.”

“Played? What do you mean played? It’s a good thing we were both here to- oh.” You say, just realizing what she meant. You take a look outside, and sure enough, there they are. Geez, couldn’t they have picked a better hiding spot? You turn back to Rose. “So, uh, did they actually fake a fight in order to make us reconcile or something?”

“Evidently they did.” She sighed. “To think I was worried about those two idiots.”

“Heh, yeah. I’d feel a lot more betrayed, but if I can be honest Rose, I’m glad we get to talk again.”

Rose looked out towards Karkat and Terezi, who hid again once they saw Rose looking. She smiled aa she turns to look at you again. “You know what? I concur.” She raised her glass. “Here’s to our manipulative friends, long may their relationship last.”

“To our friends.”

You clink your glasses together, and continue talking, eager to fill in the gap between your lives.

Switch to Karkat =>

You fistpump. “HAH! I KNEW IT!” You yell, before catching yourself. You and your very much in love with girlfriend are spying at your friends, chatting inside the family restaurant. Well, okay just you. You both are hiding in a very inconspicuous location, namely, right beside the bush near a window.

“Yes yes Karkat, your brilliant scheme to reconcile Egbert and Lalonde is a success.” Your girlfriend said, with much less enthusiasm at your victory. “Now can we go on our real date?” She asked, standing up and offering a hand to help you up. You take it.

“Of course.” Together, the two of you leave the scene of your crime. Your spirit is soaring with your success, and to top it off you’ll be spending time with the love of your life. “That sad sack Egbert has been driving me nuts ever since Vriska dumped him. Hopefully now that he’s got his friend back he’ll be less of a downer.”

“You know, this scheme stinks of Nepeta.” She suddenly said.

“Huh?” You say absentmindedly, eyes still looking forward. “Oh, yeah, when I talked with Nepeta, she and I came up with this plan.” She suddenly stopped in her tracks. You turn to look at her, an unreadable expression on her face. “Umm, is everything ok?”

“Well it just occurred to me, that since this is a plan by you two…” she said, tapping her cane to her chin. “You two should be the one to celebrate.” She said, before letting go of your hand and turning around and walking away. “You know, Egbert’s become quite a man since the last time I saw him. Maybe I should see if he’s interested…”

“Uhh, you’re kidding right, Terezi?” You ask, your worry possibly visible on his face. Terezi just turned towards your general direction, and smiled that mischievous grin of hers, before turning away again and heading off on her own. You chase after her, only for Terezi to start dashing. “YOU’RE KIDDING RIGHT, TEREZI?”

As you desperately sought confirmation from your hopefully still girlfriend, you catch a glimpse of John and Rose continuing to spend time together through the window.

“Come on Karkat!” You hear Terezi. “Catch up slowpoke! I want my date already!” She said before continuing her run. Smiling, you continue your efforts to catch your sighess paramour, the sound of leaves crunching with each step of your foot all the while.


	4. Flushed Spring of Matesprits

The gentle breeze blows through your hair, threatening to mess with your meticulously arranged coiffure. Which is a good thing you’re still wearing your hairband today. The grass below you tickle your feet through your high heels, but a shift in position takes care of that too. You’re deliberately focusing on inconsequential things, and you know it. You take a deep breath, and open your eyes.

You stand on a sea cliff, though it has been heavily decorated for the wedding it’s hosting. Gigantic tent, chairs for the attendees, a generous spread of buffet. At the moment though, no one is sitting or eating. Everyone is standing and keeping their eyes focused on the tent flaps at the far end. Then at last, their patience is rewarded as the flaps part and in strides the bride.

You have never seen Kanaya more radiant, beautiful, or enchanting than right at this moment. The dress she’s chosen is stunning as par the course with her, and her posture is perfect as she walks down the aisle, smiling at everyone. Slowly, but surely, she comes closer to you.

How do you even begin to put into words what you’re feeling right now? That bittersweet, melancholic feeling that is just the right mix of happiness, sadness, anxiety, and other emotions welling up within you? Your brain works overtime, trying to describe what it is that’s going through your mind, heart, and soul.

“Man, it feels really weird being in both of our exes’ wedding, right?” Came the voice by your side. You blink, your vast vocabulary failing you and leaving at a loss for words. How… very aptly put. Succinctly even. In fact you would dare to say understated. How do you even begin to top that?

“Not the exact words I would use to describe it, but yes it feels really fucking weird John.” you finally decided to say. Kanaya continues to march past you, until she finally stands next to her soon to be wife, Vriska. You don’t know how Kanaya managed to do it, but Vriska is also dressed in a stunning wedding gown. The eyepatch she’s wearing seems to be the sole point of contention Kanaya was willing to concede. But amazingly, even that went well with the dress.

The ceremony continues, and soon it comes time for the guests to partake in the luxurious buffet available. You, however, are heading straight to the bar. John is currently congratulating the happy couple, so you take advantage of the distraction and order the most expensive bottle available. You need a fucking drink. Once again, you question your decision to actually attend Kanaya’s wedding. Back when you first got the invite, you couldn't believe it. What was she thinking? Sure, you two parted amicably, but surely this is pushing some social boundaries. More to the point, you can’t believe Vriska allowed it.

Your drink arrives, and you down the glass in one gulp. Looking around, you can see John has moved on from the bride and bride and are now chatting with Dave and Sollux. Just your luck, you were in between dating partners when the invite came. Thankfully, John was very much willing to accompany you here, and you could do worse than John Egbert for your +1. In fact, he has been the perfect gentlemen the entire time he was with you. He made sure you’re not miserable and even enjoy yourself. You smile remembering a particularly raunchy joke he made about the couple. Who knew he had it in him? You wonder why you spent so much time hating him.

Speak of the devil, here comes John now. When he gets close enough for you to notice his furrowed eyebrows though, you know something’s wrong. “Why the long face John? Did Dave finally manage to bore you with one of his endless spiels?” Uh oh. That joke didn’t get you a smile. It did earn you a glare at your glass of (empty) wine.

“Rose, how many have you had?” He asked, still staring at your hand.

“Just one John.” You say, hoping he doesn’t ask how many more you intend to drink.

“And how many were you planning to drink?”

Drar. You briefly consider lying, but no. “I was thinking a whole bottle would be enough to drown my sorrows.”

Frowning, John sat down next to you and looked you directly in the eye. “Rose, no. Not more than 2 glasses, ok? You promised that you’ll watch your alcohol intake.”

You roll your eyes. You can’t believe you’re being coddled like a baby. You give him a glare, but from his stance you can tell he’s not backing down. “Ugh, fine ‘Dad’, I won’t drink more than 2 glasses.”

John gives you a smile. “That’s all I ask.” He then turns to the bartender. “Don’t give the lady anymore to drink other than this last glass okay?”

The nerve! Before you can give him a piece of your mind, he gives you a wink and abruptly stood up and walked away, disappearing into the crowd. Scowling, you take the glass the bartender offered you (with more force than necessary), tipping the glass here and there. Well, you might as well enjoy this last gracious glass you can drink. You take a careful sip and enjoy the taste, as you ruminate on John keeping an eye on your drinking habits.

You’re still not sure how much you drank the night you broke up with Kanaya, but somehow it led you to the doorsteps of one John Egbert. A feat of no small means, considering he’s on the other side of the continent. Your cheeks reddened in embarrassment as you remember bits and pieces of trying to seduce him that night. Badly. God, you’ve become your mother. Anyway, one thing led to another and he’s keeping an eye out for your alcohol intake.

You stare down the wine glass. Does He even see you as a woman? Wait, no, shit, forget that line of thought. You down the glass immediately hoping to banish those idle thoughts. It doesn’t work however, and the question remains. Does he only see you as a friend? Do you even like him, or is this just a rebound thing?

Your concentration is broken when you hear the tapping of a glass. You turn to look, and you can see Kanaya clinking her glass with a spoon on the stage. She adjusted the mike before speaking “Alright Everyone, It Is Time For The Traditional Bouquet Toss, So-“

Vriska stole the mike and said “So all you unmarried losers form a line outside the tent and fight for it!” Kanaya scowled at Vriska, but just sighed and went to go get the bouquet. You hear shuffling noises as the crowd parted to make way for the single ladies to partake in the event. Should you hide? No, that’s just an exercise in foolishness. John would probably just push you to join. With a sigh, you place the glass back on the table and join the crowd.

Now that you’re outside, you’re not sure if it’s a good idea to toss the bouquet near a cliff, but Vriska’s always been a thrill seeker. You see that the crowd has followed you out, some of them mingling and some carrying food plates. Ignoring the pangs of hunger and wishing you ate something, you eye the competition. A lot of familiar faces in the crowd. Surprisingly even Terezi is here, though you quickly wrote her off as a threat. You case the competition, and you immediately know it’s a lost cause. Between Jane, Jade, and Nepeta, they’ve got you beat in the athletics and desire department. 

Not that you really want to. Dating after Kanaya has been… less than successful. It’s honestly been wounding your pride as a woman. The closest thing you have as a candidate for your life partner isn’t really showing any interest as far as you can tell.

“Alright Everyone, Get Ready.” You hear Kanaya’s voice clear as day. With those words all the ladies stopped mingling and started getting ready. You follow suit, and eye your prize carefully. Kanaya makes some fake throwing motions before finally throwing it for real… wow she’s got quite an arm. The stupid thing keeps going up and up… oh shit it’s coming down, and nowhere near your starting positions.

Everyone immediately scrambled and went after it, and you follow suit. It soon becomes apparent that you’re nowhere near the running for 1st place. Several girls have already reached the estimated landing spot, with Feferi standing supreme thanks to her height. You slow your run to a walk, and then from a walk to standing still. This is getting depressing. After this reception is over you’re just gonna go home and start writing again. You’re due to submit your manuscript anyway. You-

A sudden gust of wind blows, altering the Bouquet’s trajectory. No longer is it heading straight towards Feferi’s welcoming arms, instead it’s going up. As if being carried by unseen hands, the bouquet continues to rise, until it is directly in line with the sun, the glare almost too much for mortal eyes to see. To whom the flowers will be given, it is not yet decided.  
  
… what. What the hell was that? You shake your head, and squint into the sun, ignoring the voice of your Mom in your head telling you not to do that, a remnant of your childhood days. It’s anybody’s guess now as to where that sucker will land. The sound of a flurry of movements spurred you back into action, as everyone ran to where they guess the bouquet will finally land. You’re not a meteorologist or anything (that’s John’s career of choice for the moment), but you quickly guess from the way the wind is moving where it will land and dash your way there. Luckily, Feferi is going in the opposite direction, so that’s one competitor down.

Your hopes are soon dashed as both Jade and Nepeta sprint past you, both of them heading in the general direction of where you think will be the destination of the erstwhile prize. Not for the first time in your life, you curse your younger self for not being more athletically inclined. As it is, the fact that you’re not even running out of breath is all thanks to your friend pushing you to do what little physical activities you did in your youth. 

Speaking of, there’s John now, chatting with Eridan of all people, glass and plate in hand. He’s directly in your path but still quite some ways away. A flash of inspiration suddenly struck you. It’s crazy, but it just might work. If you could only relay your plan without getting anybody’s attention… another flash of inspiration. It’s a fucking stupid crazy ridiculous plan, but if anybody can pull it off, it’s him. You have to get the timing right however. 

You eye your two rivals… steady now… find the window of opportunity … then the moment you’ve been waiting for comes at last! Nepeta split off to the sides while Jade continues to dash past John. It’s now or never Rose.

“JOHN! SHINING WIZARD!” You shout at the top of your lungs, several onlookers turning to look at you. Jade just gave you a passing glance back but she keeps running. Good. No sign of Nepeta either. But keeping the girls in the dark is the easy bit, the hard part was making sure John realized what your code meant. Seeing John gesture towards Eridan with his glass and a confused look on his face does not bode well however.

“Wwhat the hell Rose, I said I wwas sorry!” Eridan said before running away. John stared at Eridan for a few moments before saying a loud ‘OH!”, and promptly dropped his plate and glass and got into position, looking up at the bouquet. You smile, you do so love that man.

As you approach John you hear Dave’s bewildered voice coming from near you, “Dude, proposing at a wedding? Isn’t that a bit too on the nose even for- JADE TURN AROUND THE SOCK RUSE WAS A DISTACTION!” He suddenly yelled, realizing your plan. Goddammit Strider. You can see Jade trying to stop but losing her balance. You hope the headstart you have is enough to enact your master plan. Already you can hear the chaos thanks to Strider’s big mouth.

“SOLLUX GET ME MY WHIP!”  
“COME TO ME NEPETA! LET’S DO THE FRIENDSHIP CROSS!”  
“JAKE! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN THROW YOU!”  
“Karkat, what’s going on? What’s a Shining Wizard?”

You reach John who is at a kneeling position, his hands together near his feet to support yours. You scramble to climb up John, but John shook his head. “No time Rose! Just keep steady, don’t turn around, and catch without looking!” You barely have time to register what he’s saying before he bodily threw you up in the air, giving you a strange mixed feeling of exhilaration and mortal terror. You soon realize what John meant however, as you see Jade running like mad towards you, her stance low as if preparing to leap. You even see Equius carrying Nepeta in one arm, the catlike girl preparing to pounce as soon as Equius throws her. Meanwhile here comes Aradia preparing to use her whip. “Trust me Rose!” you hear John say. In desperation, you follow his instructions and get into an overhand catch position, just as Jade leapt and Equius threw Nepeta and you hear what sounded like the crack of a whip...

You wake up in a daze, blinking at the gentle sun, which soon gets eclipsed by a very welcome face. “Rose, are you ok?” After a few more blinks, you see that John is just one amongst the throng of people crowding over you. Your memory soon comes flooding bank, and frantically you search around you. Don’t tell me after all that you lost it! John laid a head on your shoulder, and you look at his smiling face. “It’s ok Rose, I got it.” He said, presenting the bouquet to you in his other hand. “That was crazy, just as you caught it, Nepeta and Jade slammed into you. Thankfully Aradia missed you all. Oh right, they’re ok too. So uh, congrats on being the next one to get married.” His smile faltered there. “So, who’s the lucky one? Anybody I know?” A collective groan resounded from the crowd.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME EGBERT?”  
“The huntress is hissing to show off her getting visibly more upset! HISS!”  
“Nepeta, deep breaths.”

Oddly enough, you don’t feel angry. Maybe it’s the concussion from being slammed by the dog girl and the cat girl, maybe it’s the adrenaline from being lifted and thrown into the air, maybe it’s the buzz from those two glasses of wine you drank, or perhaps the fact that your stupid reckless plan to get the meaningless bunch of flowers actually paid off. But you’ve never felt this much fondness for a person than right at this moment. 

So you seized Egbert by the collar of his damn dashing suit and give him a big wet sloppy one.

In front of everybody.

Okay this was definitely the wine’s doing. You quickly part from John as what you just did finally got through to your addled mind. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. Alright, stay cool Lalonde, you can play this off. Just… just say you were all caught up in the heat of the moment! Yeah, that’ll work.

Well.

It would have worked had John not decided to continue the kiss, briefly, before all too soon parting.

“Geez, you beat me to the punch Rose.” He said, before going in for another round. You gladly oblige.

“Quit stealing my thunder Laloooooooonde!”  
“It’s Alright Dear, Let Her Have This Moment. You Can Be Full On Spiderbitch On Her Wedding.”  
“I knew I married you for a reason.”  
“FINALLY! Come on Terezi, let’s finish off the buffet. Our work here is done.”  
“But we didn’t do anything-“  
“IT IS DONE!”  
“Equius! Give me my phone! I have to update my shipping wall website.”

You don’t care about the comments as the crowd dispersed. For the first time in a long while, you feel content. John has been your best friend, your hated enemy, your acquaintance, and right now your lover, and you’re thankful for the journey.

“You know, it’s a shame we didn’t do this earlier.” He said, as you both part to catch your breaths. “Think of all the time we could have saved, instead of waiting until now.”

You smile. “I wouldn’t trade our journey here for the world John.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it was going to be important 
> 
> It might interest you to know 13,560 km takes place after this
> 
> And yes Meat Rosebot interfered and moved the Bouquet. She didn’t hand it to Rose though, she just made sure Rose had another chance to get it

**Author's Note:**

> Safety first kids.


End file.
